I need time to be alone. It recharges my batteries and helps to get my head clear. That feeling of being alone, having no worries or cares, can be like a narcotic. I once pursued that drug until I realized many things, among them is the end result of this pursuit, loneliness. Being alone is like drinking wine. In moderation, it can do great things for your heart, but taking too much clouds your judgement. You lose focus on what's important. You turn inward, selfish, and often times destructive.
I know many people that seem to lives full of fun and excitement. Over the course of a week, the fun they experience may encompass about 5% of their total time awake. That 5% might be a 100 times more exhilarating than anything I experience, but exhilarating and fulfilling are not the same. At the end of the evening, they go home, alone and lonely, longing for the next rush of fun, hoping it will be better than the last. Their only legacy is a story to tell the next day, a story told to friends and co-workers that will fade away with time more quickly that they'd like.
I choose life at a slower and more fulfilling pace. I like to drink life's wine, but I like to remember those I'm with, the smells, the sights, the sounds. Each day and each year, I become more and more fulfilled. My cup runneth over. But it only does that so long as I pursue things that can provide that fulfillment. Chasing a high or a thing never ends. Your cup is bottomless and cannot be filled. I drink from the cup of Christ and His Draught is filling.
I see two groups that make me sad. The first is the perpetually single person. You don't have to live that lifestyle to understand, you can see it on TV. Think of the woman on Sex in The City. Chasing a drink and a guy. Before they know it, they are still lonely, no kids or family. Do they ever look happy. I'm not even going to get into their eternal life, or lack thereof.
The other person is the married person longing for the single life. They distance themselves from their family until they hit the point when their family has left them. The don't get to come to a spouse anymore, the kids aren't always there. You don't get to see them to bed every night, hear their laughter, dry their tears, will you be the one to give your daughter away or approve of your sons girlfriend. You have amputated yourself from your family, and you are lonely.