Monday, July 14, 2008

Economic Nerf: Nerf not Smurf


You know when the World Trader came down killing 3,000 due to a terrorist attack, something scary happened. Putting aside the horrible nature of the attack, once it is over, it is important to think things through clearly. When charity and the US government provided victim families millions and millions of dollars for their loss, I thought, why. If I get hit by a car or am shot by one of the many gangs of urban terrorists, there is no "ease of suffering" endowment from the government to my family. The reason for this is because life happens and people die. If I want to make sure my family is covered, I need to buy insurance. Why award 3,000 families money for their suffering. The reason this was done as I see it is that it was a national loss. We all felt the pain indirectly. The government wanted to show people that life can be fine if you happen to die at the hand of a terrorist because you will get millions. It helped to give us a sense of Nerf, life without getting hurt. Nerf life means that you might know that you got hit, but you should not feel it longer than a second.

Fast forward to Katrina. New Orleans was full of people living lives of Nerf. No matter what bad choice they made, government was there to Nerf them out of the situation. So when the storms came, people sat in their houses waiting for the buses to come and pull them out of their government trailer. It didn't come, and many paid the price. The media was furious. How dare people come to harm due to their own inaction. After all, people are not supposed to feel pain anymore. In rushed the military and Nerf trailers (at first they were Nerf, but later it was learned that they would be better off living in a toxic waste dump) and order was restored. Nerf debit cards were given and the whole nation was able to sigh, "If that were me, I'm glad to know I wouldn't get hurt. Let's go toss around the football, so long as it is Nerf."
Now that everyone is accustomed to no pain in this Nerf Society ( the list could go on and on), it was time to begin collapsing the economy. Let's Nerf the minimum wage (grocery sackers needed no pain). Let's Nerf the borders (Nerf, like our laws, should be applied regardless of citizenship). Let's Nerf the environment (there should never be any climactic shifts, pain shouldn't even be felt by the animals). Now that things have been Nerfed, the dollar drops, energy and inflation go up, stocks fall, mortgages are in crisis.

The ultimate goal of Nerfing society is to replace our democracy and free market with a socialist society. Now that institutions are starting to fail like Bear Stearns, Freddie, Fannie, and Indie Mac, we must Nerf the fallout of those that made bad investments. To do this, the government will come in and take them over. The government will run the banks and mortgage industry, they are calling for nationalizing the oil industry. They want to take over health care. Isn't this ploy obvious. Instead of taking it by force, the Socialists are doing it by playing on our desire to not see anyone suffer. Pain causes growth. We learn from pain. When the Soviet Union collapsed, there were many people that mourned the loss of what they perceived as their Nerf Society. What they didn't realize is that when you use government branded Nerf, you get something about as protective as those Katrina trailers. NERF (No Economic Relief for Families.)

2 comments:

thejotus said...

Nerfed. That is great. Liberalism is now nerfism.

jrchaard said...

I like it.