What I am about to present is the most concrete evidence to date that we have already entered into a global cooling period. I will also show the direct correlation of global cooling to increased CO2 levels. Often times, the best evidence is no further than the nose on your face. You see, on March 9, 2004, after being called fat, I began a continuing 5 year journey of running. During that 5 year time I ran at least 5 days a week. Five years ago, I began running outside. I didn't begin running inside until the following winter. What I remember about that year is that I was able to run outside with little discomfort from the cold. Over the next 4 years, the time I was able to start running has become later and later as the cold stretches further into spring. This year, I have not been able to run outside yet on a consistent basis and there is no sign the trend will end. Additionally, the time I have to stop running outside has become earlier and earlier. My outdoor running season has gone from 8 months to 6 months in just 5 short years. Folks, we have a crisis here.
What could be the cause of this? My theory, which is as scientifically sound as global warming advocates, is that due to my increased running productivity, the level of CO2 in the atmosphere has been increased dramatically. That CO2 is blocking valuable warmth from reaching the planet, threatening all manner of equatorial creatures, seeing their warm habitats turn cold. The only solution I can see at this point is for me to stop running or for me to buy CO2 credits from Al Gore so that I can continue to run while another less active person is allowed to sit. April Fools? I think not.