Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Comrade Obama's Speech on GM and the Banks.



Brothers and sisters, we are joined together in the great patriotic war against recession. The forces of capitalism have made a grievous error in their assault on the middle classes. Even now as I speak, agents of our great union are dismantling the manufacturing and banking industries and restoring them to the great people of this Union, the righteous owners. The economy is bad and it will only get worse. I am asking you, comrades, to make the sacrifices that will ensure strength and prosperity for you great grandchildren’s children. Plants will close. Dealerships will close. Jobs will be lost. This will all happen in the name of the patriotic war. Those that will lose their jobs will be honored for years to come as heroes of the revolution. Even now as I speak, capitalist forces, under the command of Ford, are attempting to regain market share and increase production. They must be stopped. As your comrade commander, I will stop them cold through regulation and creating an uncompetitive climate by leveraging the appropriated GM brand. During this war, I want to thank our allies in Cuba and Venezuela. Comrade Chavez has been invaluable in providing guidance on how to take over capitalist corporations. And with the help of comrade castro, our automobile industry may rival our fellow patriots in Cuba.
I am proud to report that the Zionist in the banks are being forced out. Secretary Geithner is working tirelessly to rid our great nation of the Zionist plot and control of the economic system. With the help of our brother’s in Iran, the Zionist will trouble us no more.
Finally, this great patriotic war will have no end unless we all unite. There are enemies everywhere. Your neighbors and fellow comrades may be working with the capitalist forces in Russia to undue our work. There may even be members of your own family that have been corrupted. It is your duty to report all suspicious activity and persons. My agents in Acorn will interrogate these agents and discover their network of support to crush this threat. Comrades, this is change we can count on. Can we crush our enemies? Yes we can. Thank you.
Sincerely,

The Grand Patriot
Barrack Obama.

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