Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Revised School House Rock Lyrics to I'm Just a Bill Obama/Pelosi Style

There may be some odd winners as the health care lack of debate and procedural trickery presses on.  While it is all but certain that it will be the doom for the Democrat party, the methods used to pass this legislation will certainly be beneficial to textbook publishers and the producers of school house rock.   With methods like reconciliation, slaughter rule, a "deemed" vote, the way children are taught how a bill becomes a law must be changed.  Every textbook must be rewritten to say that if you have President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid in charge, a bill may become a law any way necessary.   However, traditional and legal methods must be respected again if Obama ends his presidency.  The old school house rock cartoon where the eager young children are serenaded by a rolled up piece of paper will have to be changed to a giant stack of paper in a wheel chair because it is too large explaining that the he doesn't really know how he became a law, it just happened.  Here is my attempt at the new lyrics.

I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here in my chair up on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting with Pelosi
But I know I'll be a law someday
At least I hope but not pray that I will,
But today I am still just an oversized bill.

Boy: Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.
Bill: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn't even a bill, I was just an idea. Some union folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their Union boss and he said, "You're right, there oughta be a law." Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress, but never showed anyone what is inside of me. And I became a bill, and I'll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.

I'm just a bill
Yes I'm only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill.
Well, I never made it to committee
And I'll sit here and wait
While a few democrat Congressmen plot and debate
Whether they should let me be voted on or just deemed passed.
How I hope but not pray that they will,
But today I am still just a bill.  

Boy: Listen to those protesters chanting! Is all that passion about you?
Bill: Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most people used to only watch CNN or read the times so they didn't know that I exist. I hope they decide to report on me favourably, otherwise I may die.
Boy: Die?
Bill: Yeah, die in committee. Oooh, but it looks like I'm gonna live! There isn't going to be a committee for me.  They aren't even going to read me.  Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they deem me passed through parliamentary trickery.
Boy: If they vote yes, what happens?
Bill: Oh, they won't have to vote, and I go straight to the President.
Boy: But don't you have to go back to the senate!
Bill: Not me.  The senators never thought I would pass the house in my current form so they voted for me, but since I never went to committee and was deemed passed, I don't!

I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And if they never had to vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll jump to the front of the line
skipping past a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And when he signs me, then I'll be a law.
How I know that he certainly will,
But today I am still just a bill.
Boy: You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?
Bill: Yes, that's called a veto. But this President won't veto me because I will help him take over 1/6th of the economy.  Of course, the people could try to stop me.
Boy: By that time it's very unlikely they'll be able to stop you.  They don't really have any say anymore. It's not easy to become a law, is it?
Bill: No!
But how I know that I certainly will,
But today I am still just a bill.
Congressman: Obama signed you, Bill! Now you're a law!
Bill: Oh yes!!!
 

8 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

Simply inspiring! Of course some of those union folks had to get their plans exempted because of their Cadillac nature :(

jrchaard said...

It's the kind of song that makes a kid want to get into government

Kansas Bob said...

I will vote for you! But since we live in different states it would have to be for a national office :)

SOB said...

dude, you stole that from big government.com lol

SOB said...

http://biggovernment.com/jherricane/2010/03/14/schoolhouse-barack/

jrchaard said...

I didn't steal anything. I sat down at work one morning, found the original lyrics and modified them. Maybe they stole it from me. Plus, after reading theirs, they stray quite a bit from the original

SOB said...

lol, big gov.com stole from you?

jrchaard said...

Well, I did see on your link that their was written on 3/14. I like my version better. It is more subtle